The Things We Talk About When Dining Out

Berkshire House - Los Angeles, CA

For the first two months of our relationship, we didn’t go on a single date outside of Sanjeev’s single dorm on our floor freshman year of college. It was briskly cold out for those first few months. We were lazy, binge-watching TV shows and movies, not surprisingly. Every now and then, Sanjeev would trudge down in the freezing cold to our building’s lobby to pick up delivery food. But that was the extent of our activities together. We had been close friends prior to dating, and I guess didn’t feel the need to have that obligatory first, and most likely, awkward date.

But eventually, we did it, and it was kind of awkward, but it was nice. We went to a Thai restaurant on campus (not more than a five-minute walk from our dorm, okay I know we could have ventured further but it was a step!). I posted on social media about it, he looked so cute sitting across from me. We were happy we finally went out.

This experience would have an impact on the rest of our relationship, for the better. The next few months we spent beginning to explore Boston, in what would continue over the next two years we shared together while we were both in school.

That’s what the first time eating out again, after being quarantined for three months, felt like. It felt like something new and exciting. It felt like our first date out, those times we spent exploring our favorite city - the city that brought us together. And not that it was our fault, the coronavirus made it kind of impossible, as well as the subsequent stay at home orders and nothing really being open, to do much else.

It was our two year wedding anniversary, and we had a place in mind that was close by. We knew it wouldn’t be too crowded, and had a good amount of seating inside and outside. And so, we decided to take the leap.

We both had a couple of drinks, and since it had been a while since I’ve had anything more than some cheap store-bought wine, I got a little tipsy. We talked about the future, our careers, Sanjeev laughed at how ridiculous I was being. And suddenly, it was three hours later, the sun had set and neither of us realized that more than an hour had gone by.

This was something we hadn’t had in a while. The experience of sharing a meal together outside just brings something out in everyone, even for the people you wouldn’t think need it. Sanjeev and I needed it. One of our favorite things is being able to be out with each other, at a new place, trying new food. It’s one of the things that really brought us together in the first place.

Restaurants are these unique places outside of our homes, that give you an opportunity to sit across from another person, have this shared experience, and just be in one place with someone else. You don’t need to be on your phone when you run out of other things to do. You’re there to catch up, to escape from work (which has most likely invaded your home now as well), to just be there with each other and converse over a good meal.

There’s just so much more you find you end up talking about when eating out. I can’t exactly describe how this happens, it just does. So much more depth of conversation, getting lost in topics you never thought you would with this other person or group of people. You might sit there, the first 10 minutes, just kind of looking at one other, struggling to find things to talk about and making small talk where you can. But after you place your order, the waitress takes your menus, and even when you get your food, by that point you’re struggling to fit in a word between bites – trying to get your point across in whatever discussion you’re having. The next thing you know, you find time went by way faster than you expected and your waiter is giving you that look where you know you should probably leave, but you just don’t want to, because then it’s back to real life.

I never realized how much eating out meant to me, meant to us. During those few months of being cooped up, not doing much besides watching movies and binge-watching TV shows, our feelings for each other never changed. But there was something missing, something we didn’t even realize was gone and had affected us more than we thought. We felt like we lost something, not knowing when we’d get that back.

But that’s the amazing thing about restaurants, cafes. They’ll always be there, in one way or another, at some point again. They might look different, the experience may be different than what we’re used to, as it already is. But we’ll all have those special times out again, in one way or another.

But for now, even that little taste, at a small neighborhood bar, not much more than a 15-minute walk from our current apartment, was just what Sanjeev and I needed.